I am sure we are all familiar with dragons. Those mythical creatures that show up in fantasy novels and movies. Are they really mythical creatures? I personally think that they are alive and well and living among us. I am sure we have all had experiences with these so called mythical creatures.
One of my first experiences for me occurred in grade 5. When our substitute teacher pulled me aside at lunch to tell me well honestly that I was a bad kid. Yip that did wonders for my self esteem, apparently I was mean to others, no one else was mean just me. I solely was the only mean child out of 20+ kids. It was not a nice life lesson I assure you. I still remember eating my granny smith apple trying not to cry less she sense my weakness and strike again. I have never forgiven her and she to this day remains on my secret list you know the one...everyone has one.
Over the years I have had several encounters with dragons. In my undergraduate years it was with two professors. The women actually called herself the Dragon Lady, she was proud of it. I think she thrived off failing students which in that case encompassed almost the entire class. The man well let’s say to add salt to the wound he was my academic advisor in addition to being one of my profs. A person whom which was heard to say and I quote “I hate undergrads”. I mean who the hell pays your salary? Not to mention that everyone at some point was an undergrad. Or was he special and came out of the womb holding his Doctorate in hand? I thankfully made it through those years a little scorched but I survived.
I have met many dragons over the years. And includes people who came in and out of my life like a flash to those whom I had to endear for years. I had thought that I had meet the ultimate dragons whilst at grad school...believe it or not there were at least three. I think they came as a package, one that once opened attacked you by surprise, secretly sneaking into my cubicle, pouncing on me in the hallways and emailing me with questions and pouncing on me. I believe these were planned attacks, planned to hone in on my weakness at times when I was most vulnerable. And I have to say they often worked....momentarily.
Alas I have recently met the supreme dragon of all my dragons. Believe it or not but she came disguised as a “helpful and supportive” career counsellor. After months of job searching and still having nothing to show for it I felt that I should go in search of some professional help. You know someone who could point my in the right direction and lift my spirits. I found a nice place that offered these services for free to those of us that qualified. By free I mean they are supported by our tax dollars both federal and provincial. My first visit was with the assessment officer. I came prepared with cover letter and resume examples. It was a good and positive meeting and I left with much anticipation and good feelings towards my appointment with my career counsellor.
So when I showed up that Friday afternoon eager to be helped I was both mentally and emotionally unprepared by the fire breathing women I meet with. I of course am biased because lets face it she pretty much left me and my self-esteem smouldering, so if the story appears to portray her in a less than positive light it’s because that’s how I feel about her and the whole experience.
For whatever reason she seemed to be unprepared for our meeting, whether she was not expecting to be meeting with another client on that sunny hot Friday afternoon I will never know. I was sure it was going to be a good experience as she escorted her previous client to reception making a future appointment and saying things like “email me your resume etc and the things we went over and I will get back to you and provide more help. And the next time you come in we will review where you are etc etc.”
So with those warm, fuzzy and nervous feelings I eagerly followed her to her lair. That’s right people I said lair, it really could have been, as it had no windows and was located in the furthest and darkest corner of the office. Basically the meeting started with her not even having my file, so therefore she obviously had not read it. But I was ok with this I figured upon retrieving it she would take a few minutes to read it over before we got started. Nope. Again I thought this isn’t so bad when she read my cover letter example and said it was great and a pleasure to read. In hind sight I think this was a set up you know the bait before WHAMO. She basically before even reading my resume told me “you don’t have a job because of your resume”, apparently it was awful like some shite encrusted piece of paper she was being forced to hold. I told her I have already had professional help with it and managed to get a few interviews so it couldn’t be all that bad...could it? Nope it was horrible according to her, she hoped I hadn’t actually paid for this help as she pulled out her weapon of choice, her pen, stack of sticky notes and just starting scratching and scrawling and looking at me with those big googly eyes of hers, seriously she wore really thick glasses. It was horrible horrible. She actually told me “I am sad you sent this resume out to people”. Yes she said that, honest. The meeting ended with her telling me to take a couple of weeks to work on my resume and come back when it was “polished”. She then escorted me to the resource room, patted me on the shoulder, gave me a I feel sorry for you look and left me staring at a huge book entitled something like resume magic. I don’t want you to think that I can’t take constructive criticism. After all, that was one of the reasons why I went there to get help, but I feel like all I got was one bitch slap after another.
She completely made me doubt myself and all that I had been doing over the last several months and years. She burned up almost all of what remained of my self esteem with her fiery tongue and words. It took me three days and many sleepless nights to recuperate from this experience, and if the truth be told I am still recovering. I have not gone back to see her with my “polished resume”. I just can’t face her. Am I a coward? Probably. It’s just when you are expecting help and support and instead you are crushed to the core really it’s an experience no one wants to repeat EVER.
I am however, happy to say that my friends were very supportive and I am back on the job band wagon. I may even have something in the works. I feel like I have beat/slayed the dragon or at least the latest one.
I personally love the mythical dragons and am a huge fan. They are fierce, enduring misunderstood creatures. The real dragons I am not a fan of at all, though I am sure I will continue to meet them for the rest of my life. Next time I will be more prepared...or at least that’s what I tell myself.
Food For Thought
“Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ~ G. K. Chesterton quotes
Dragon lady + bitch slap = Red wine!!!
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