Saturday, November 14, 2009


Why is it that men seem to age gracefully?  As they age they become sexy with peppered gray hair and they seem aluring and women well gravity sets in and wierd hair starts to grow on your chin?  I mean hypothetically of course (the hair)! Its like some sort of cruel joke not to mention that we experience our sexual peak in our late thirties just about the time that our over 30 bodies start to show us that we are definatley not 20 something anymore and 40 something is closer than we hope.  

I have recently had this conversation with some friends and we did a survey (ok it include about 3 people so the stats aren't exactly robust) and it seems like women in our 30s - 40s who haven't had kids are experiencing all kinds of weird hormonal things like chin hairs and extra lovely painful cramps.  It this because we are consuming mass quantities of caffeine intravenously through chocolate bars and coffee! Or is it becuase we don't actually age gracefully?

Do we only get to grow old gracefully if we have hair laser removal, incubate a parasite for nine months (no offense) and have some sort of bo-tox or other sythetic toxic substance injected into our face, boobs and/or asses? Not to mention the plethora of "anit-aging" face cream, ass cream, thigh cream and everything else creams that we are meant to be applying to our withering bodies. I mean this what I have to look forward to as I grow old.  I hope not. 

Both my mum and her mother grew old graciously and not to be biased but they aged and are aging pretty dam well.  I can only hope that I have also inherited these genes.  Or else me and some hair laser pseudo doctor are going to become very fast and tight friends....

What I want to know is do men also experience things like this?  I mean we all know about sagging balls and man-boobs thanks to the Bro (Seinfeld) and other sources but is there more to it that we don't hear about?  I want to know and so do many other women out there. 

I am aware and so is the world about erectile dysfunction and incontinuity thanks to depends and pfizer.  I mean where would the world be without drugs for enabling the male libidio at the age of 70?  But do men really worry about getting older as much as women do?  Do you see your body start to fall apart and hope others don't notice as well?  I hope so not because I think men should share our pain of aging but because then we would know that we are all on the same playing field.

Food For Thought 
"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."  ~Caryn Leschen

Friday, November 13, 2009

What happened to my fun filled weekend nights?

Can my life really be this lame?  The answer is yes, yes my life is lame.  Ok I should clarify... my life really isn't lame but I don't know what happened to those days or I should say evening and weekends where I actually did things...anything.  Tonight is Friday night and do you know what I did?  Hopefully you can relate - otherwise my weekends are really becoming sad.  I went to Walmart to pick up a few things including dog cookies for the 4 dogs I live with, I came home made dinner for my roommate and her partner and then we watched re-runs of Criminal Minds, Law & Order and Law & Order SVU!  And everyone headed to bed at 10 pm! I mean what the hell is going on! Sadly this is not a chance occurrence  as most of my Friday and Saturday nights are spent at home with food and roommates, sometimes we get daring and we watch a movie! Ooh I know exciting - NOT!

I really don't know what happened to the days of going out even if it was just to the pub with friends, having a few drinks maybe shooting some pool or playing darts and generally having fun.  Its like I turned 30+ and all that went away.  Actually I think I turned into someone old and boring.  By 10 pm on a Friday night I want to be in bed or at least home in my fleecy pj's.  You know I remember during my twenties I would come home to visit my parents and I would go out at 10 pm becuase things were just getting started.  I remember my parents saying "you are goin out now? It's so late"  And I was like "Its really early and noone goes out before 10!"  Sadly now I am the one who is saying its 10 and it feels so late, I don't even had kids or a husband/partner to use as an exuse!  I can't even be like Miranda on Sex and the City and watch my tv shows I recorded all week becuase we don't have TIVO or digital recording cable of any kind! 

I shouldn't say its all bad.  Last year when I worked in an office a friend , and sometimes several friends and I would often go out for drinks on a Friday after work.  It was lots of fun.  I think the highlight was one night just her and I (you know who you are : ) went out to Earls, sat in the "lounge" had some drinks and appy's then we stumbled home.  I swore it was like 11 pm and I was so ready for bed.  I got home and looked at the clock 7:30 pm people!  7:30 pm  it was shocking I mean I know we had been drinking since 4:30 and I had apparently reached my limit but I swore it had to be really late, like 11 pm and I felt realy proud of myself when I left the "lounge" thinking oh yeah I can still handle a long night of drinking and socializing...not.  I was so sure I had been out all night but I am sure the alcohol I had consumed coupled with the early and very dark Canadian winter nights helped fuel my desire for it too be much later.  Also my ego could have used a few extra hours as well.  As I really felt like I was returning to my pre-30's where I actually did something exciting and fun after 7 pm!

I don't really know how to change this pattern...sadly I don't know if I even want it to change.  I mean I would like to go out and listen to some live music and hit the pub every once in a while but I don't really have a partner in crime.  I am hoping that will all change when I head to New Orleans with my friends over the Christmas holidays...sorry ladies but if you are reading this we will be enjoying music, beverages and food a plenty during our week in the south!  I need to trip back down memory lane and I need to be reminded that there is more to night life than fuzzy pj's and re-runs!  HAHA until then I will most likely continue my weekend evenings in the same old pattern....which honestly for now is totally fine.

Food For Thought
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more.  

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sex? What is that?

If your are like me and you have forgotten what sex is.  I am sending out positive sex wave thoughts to everyone going through a dry period you know a time in your life when sex is everywhere on tv, the movies, heck it seems like everything and everyone is enjoying it but you...well you are not alone my friend.  I myself am going through what I like to call a Sahara period you know like the desert...dry dry dry and exceptionally hot!  But nothing going on.  

My new years resolution for 2009 was to actually have sex, plenty of it in fact and  it was actually going to be with a real person not just in my imagination.  Well 2009 is quickly drawing to a close and I am no where near fulfilling my resolution so this is the year when I definitely decide to not make new years resolutions any more.... 

I don't know whats worse a) not getting any or b) not getting any and  having friends who get WAY  too much that they have to nap in the afternoons just to make it through the night. I think it might be b but the jury is still out on that one.  However, I know that I am not alone.  I know that there are singletons all over that feel the same way, that are also experiencing a sex desert as well. If you are reading this because you think I have an answer you will be sadly disappointed because I don't. I just thought I would let you know you are not alone.

That's the one major misconception about Singletown that Coupledom doesn't realize it's a total myth that Singletown is full of happy people having sex with everyone all the time.  Wrong....People in Coupledom just don't realize that many people in Singletown aren't out there romping or shagging everyone  in fact my own survey shows the complete opposite.  Lots of Singletowners would be happy to have A sex partner.  One of my friends had sex last year for a whole week - it was amazing and I was happy for her.  In fact I was hoping her luck would rub off on me... no such luck but we are still living vicariously through her memory anyways.... 

So here is to all you Singletowners out there praying and waiting for someone to come along and give you hopefully hours (but we'll take mins) of extremely satisfying and orgasmic sex.

Food For Thought
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
Rodney Dangerfield

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rememberance Day

Today is Remembrance Day, November 11, 2009.  It is 82 years since the Armistice was signed in 1918 that ended the great war (World War I).  Sometimes I think we all forget that there are people soldiers and peace keepers from all over the world still stationed in far away places helping to rebuild, fighting and maintaining peace or at least trying to.  Which seems hard these days with what is going on in Afghanistan and Iraq since it is on the news every day.  But sometimes we get so used to seeing and hearing news about bombings, fighting insurgents, and people being shipped home in caskets we become used to it -  in a way it just becomes another daily part of our lives.  I know this is the one day that most of us stop, remember and pay our respects to those who have died in action, peace keeping and/or are still far away from home involved in conflict and peace keeping missions.  I always get a bit emotional on this day I guess because I am kind of sappy about it mostly because everything we don't want to think about or we forget about the rest of the year is all crammed into one day.

It's not that me or anyone else forgets the rest of the year about what is going on overseas because lets face it its rather hard when it is on the news daily but I think we just get so used to seeing it we don't really stop and think about it.  On Remembrance Day we do stop and think about it.  I personally think that most of us do think about our Canadian Forces throughout the year and not just today; that we appreciate and respect those fellow countrymen and women out there willing to put their lives on the line and whom do sacrifice their lives we just don't think about it out loud.  

I know it is hard to watch people come home in body bags especially if it is someone you know -  but I think my generation (Generation X) is pretty lucky.  We have never had to experience a major war like WWI, WWII, Korea, and/or Vietnam.  We have lived through the Gulf War, the Star Wars program, conflicts in the middle east and now the "War on Terror".  However, we are generation who has not as of yet experienced hundred of thousand of soldiers, especially young men, dying.  We haven't had to go to post offices and railway stations to read the daily or weekly list of dead, wounded or missing in action.  We haven't had to read Time magazine and see pictures and names of young men, brothers, friends, boyfriends, lovers and husbands, who are never coming home.  I count myself lucky that I haven't had to experience this and hope that I won't ever have to.  

Canada is a country where our national pride is not shown in the same ways of our closest neighbor.  We are a humble but strong and proud nation.  We have long memories and pride in our peace keeping and war efforts throughout the years.  Today is day where we come together as a nation to show our pride, to remember sacrifices, to pay our respects to those who didn't return home and to keep those who are still away from home in our minds and hearts. 

I am extremely grateful for those people who have given their lives or even small portions of their lives to the armed forces and our country, to help others , to defend  freedoms and liberty and  we in Canada get to enjoy everyday and I know that I am not alone.  I hope the men and women of our armed forces know that we as a nation are extremely grateful and proud of them for what they have done, what they are doing this very day, that we do think about them, (often) both those who have died and those who are still alive, that we wish them well, that we do remember their sacrifices and we hope they come home safe.

"In Flanders' fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row." 
~Canadian Officer, Lieut.-Colonel John McCrae, M.D. Died in WWI

Friday, November 6, 2009

Buttons and bad days

Hey have your every had one of those days where it just starts off bad and you hope it doesn't go down hill from there?  Well I just had one.  It started out at 5 am which could have added to the range of events.  I was up becuase I had meeting in Vancouver and was planning on catching the 7 am ferry to be at my meeting at 9am.  The first thing was as I took my last pee before I was leaving the button of my brand new never been worn pants fell off!  Buttons are important for you know holding up pants.  I struggled for a few mins trying to get it back on but I needed to leave to catch the ferry.  So one of my kind roommates gave me a needle and thread to go.  I raced to the ferry only to miss getting on the 7 by 10 cars! So I had to phone and postpone my meeting til 11am a great first impression.  But now I had 2 and half hours to wait for the next ferry.  So what did I do?  Well for starters I sewed my button back on hoping no one would walk by and wonder what I was doing with my pants undone in the driver side of my stickshift truck!  It worked and thank god no one saw.  When I finally got on the ferry and for those of you not used to BC mainland -Vancouver Island ferry travel these are huge 500 passenger 300 + car ferries, they are lovely  and as scenic as the crossing is,  all 1 hour and  35 mins of it, after 30+ years of traveling on the ferries they have lost their shine for me and I have to admit I rarely enjoy them now except occasionly when I see something cool like a pod of killer whales which I did this summer.  Anyways the weather was horendous and I wasn't sure if the wind would prenvet the ferries from runing did not.  However in all my years of BC cruising I have never once had the captian ask passengers to remain seated, or wait until the ferry had docked before returning to your car.  The weather was that crazy.  My 9 am ferry was more like 9:15 am so I was already late for my 11 am meeting then I got lost on my way there ending up on some random farm road numbered 36A or something.  I finally made it to my meeting at 11:45 just in time for lunch HAHA. The rest of the day wasn't too bad no more button catastrophes and the ferry was still running on my home, but the rain was crazy and there is nothing I enjoy more than coming off the ferry ramp only to hydroplane at the bottom! (Not!) I made it home alive but I think I will have to re-think and re-do my emergency button sew job!