Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Are you enjoying a tranquil Holiday Season? I am.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.  I don't know about you folks but I am enjoying (hopefully) my first Christmas Vacation.  I am hoping that it is not in the same grand style of Chevy Chase's Christmas vacation or this picture is all wrong. However, as I have mentioned in a few previous blogs I will be enjoying myself, consuming copious amounts of food and beverages with two of my friends during the holidays in lovely warm frost and snow free New Orleans, Louisiana. I mean where else can you enjoy the reason for season while carrying an alcoholic beverage down the street to the next establishment of your choice? 

And the best part?  No family, no guilt no forced family time with scary aunts, uncles, cousins or spouses of relatives.  Ahh yes that's right it is really going to be a jolly holiday season for me.  I might even celebrate a few more various dominational holidays in the same way.  Anyways I hope you all survive your Holiday season (if you spending it with family).  I know you will if you are vacation!  

Food for Thought
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Clark W. Girswald: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f**king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. 

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

When did Carols become so uh interesting?

Greetings.  I have been parousing internet radio lately and loving the choices.  Especially the Christmas Carol stations... with a few exceptions.  What happened to the Bing Crosby carols of my youth?  I mean when did it become acceptable to hear we three kings as a rap song or do you hear what I hear as hip hop.  Not that I don't enjoy various forms of music.  I do. But I am rather a traditionalist when it comes to carols.

I like my Bing, come on who doesn't and really the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  Those folds can really belt out those carols despite their belief in Joseph Smith. When I was a kid I loved this time of year when we would pull out the old vinyl records.  I loved looking at the covers.  I have to admit though I was terrified of the Dickens Christmas Carol record it was kind of creepy and until I was older scared me.  I wouldn't listen to it alone.  But hey now maybe I can listen to some new fandango-ed Dickens version.

I guess as the years go by there is room for new traditions and classics like for instance Stuart McLean and his Vinyl Cafe Christmas stories.  If you don't know who I am or what I am talking about check out his website and podcasts.  Seriously Stuart's stories are hilarious and the characters are totally relate-able.  That being said about new Christmas things and traditions...

I am not yet ready to hear my favorite carols sung by El Divo or rapped sorry folks - I don't care how old Bing Crosby's versions get that's what I want to hear at Christmas. GO BING!

Food for Thought
"Bah!" said Scrooge. "Humbug!" ~ Charles Dickens

Friday, December 18, 2009

This time of year

Greetings.  I have been very lax about blogging lately I would like to say it is because I am gainfully employed and am raking in the dough however, that is not the case.  Though I have been working, taking government exams and going through the whole painful job search process.  I hope to have better luck in the New Year and as Christmas approaches
December pretty much becomes a write off to get anything done least of all getting a job offer. 

Focusing (or trying to) on this blog.  Yes it is that time of year when everyone talks of joy, cheer and love.  Oh wait no that's just the advertisers, most people I know associate this time of year with stress, crammed parking lots, angry people, lack of gift ideas, forced/obligated family time (followed by painful experiences and guilt for trying to avoid it) usually associated with  consuming copious alcoholic beverages and fattening food.  I usually like Christmas well the food at least and this year I am excited because I am heading to New Orleans with friends and am avoiding the whole madness of Christmas! Or at least part of it... no fears I have had my own share of Xmas madness and thought I would share...

A few days ago I was in a parking lot and upon returning to my vehicle, after waiting in a rather longer line than expected at the bank and almost being knocked down by an over zealous senior trying jumping the line from behind, found myself in an awkward situation.  By awkward I mean I was rather pissed but I am trying to add Christmas joy and cheer to my blog and life.  I know its not really my style so bear with me (the cheer and joy part).  Anyways I get back to my car and guess what? The person who parked next to me literally had left like maybe a foot for  me to 1) open my door (without scrapping the crap out of his truck) and 2) to get my body (meaning ass) in!  Seriously people have you looked at our population lately we are all not supermodels or have superpowers that allow us to squeeze into extremely tight spaces.  Even better the guy was still in his truck waiting for someone (I presume, it adds more drama to my story) plus it is absolutely pouring down with rain so I walk around my car because lets face it they only I am getting my ass in is through the passenger door.  

Oh what luck I forgot that I had a 20 pound bag of dog food in the front seat plus a very wet and mangled umbrella not to mention I had just spent X hundred plus dollars on my hair so I was trying to hurry and not ruin my hair.  SO I climbed in literally into my car over dog food, umbrellas and all the other random shite that I pile on my unused passenger seat (Cause that's what us singletowners do with all that extra space in our cars - we pile shite) I felt like a contortionist... in fact at one point I had my right leg up by the windshield because I couldn't quite squeeze into the drivers side with all the shite in the car.  I am sure I made a complete ass out of myself.  And yet the entire time buddy in his car just sat there watching me full of Christmas cheer! 

I mean really is this what our society has become at this time of year so focused on commercial aspirations and parking spots that we would let some person have to literally climb into their car at the risk of pulling some major muscle group because we couldn't possible spread some cheer and move ours a little so they could get into theirs?  I guess so.  Merry Christmas

Food for Thought
"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit"  ~ Kin Hubbard