Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. I don't know about you folks but I am enjoying (hopefully) my first Christmas Vacation. I am hoping that it is not in the same grand style of Chevy Chase's Christmas vacation or this picture is all wrong. However, as I have mentioned in a few previous blogs I will be enjoying myself, consuming copious amounts of food and beverages with two of my friends during the holidays in lovely warm frost and snow free New Orleans, Louisiana. I mean where else can you enjoy the reason for season while carrying an alcoholic beverage down the street to the next establishment of your choice?
And the best part? No family, no guilt no forced family time with scary aunts, uncles, cousins or spouses of relatives. Ahh yes that's right it is really going to be a jolly holiday season for me. I might even celebrate a few more various dominational holidays in the same way. Anyways I hope you all survive your Holiday season (if you spending it with family). I know you will if you are vacation!
Food for Thought
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Clark W. Girswald: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f**king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
Can my life really be this lame? The answer is yes, yes my life is lame. Ok I should clarify... my life really isn't lame but I don't know what happened to those days or I should say evening and weekends where I actually did things...anything. Tonight is Friday night and do you know what I did? Hopefully you can relate - otherwise my weekends are really becoming sad. I went to Walmart to pick up a few things including dog cookies for the 4 dogs I live with, I came home made dinner for my roommate and her partner and then we watched re-runs of Criminal Minds, Law & Order and Law & Order SVU! And everyone headed to bed at 10 pm! I mean what the hell is going on! Sadly this is not a chance occurrence as most of my Friday and Saturday nights are spent at home with food and roommates, sometimes we get daring and we watch a movie! Ooh I know exciting - NOT!
I really don't know what happened to the days of going out even if it was just to the pub with friends, having a few drinks maybe shooting some pool or playing darts and generally having fun. Its like I turned 30+ and all that went away. Actually I think I turned into someone old and boring. By 10 pm on a Friday night I want to be in bed or at least home in my fleecy pj's. You know I remember during my twenties I would come home to visit my parents and I would go out at 10 pm becuase things were just getting started. I remember my parents saying "you are goin out now? It's so late" And I was like "Its really early and noone goes out before 10!" Sadly now I am the one who is saying its 10 and it feels so late, I don't even had kids or a husband/partner to use as an exuse! I can't even be like Miranda on Sex and the City and watch my tv shows I recorded all week becuase we don't have TIVO or digital recording cable of any kind!
I shouldn't say its all bad. Last year when I worked in an office a friend , and sometimes several friends and I would often go out for drinks on a Friday after work. It was lots of fun. I think the highlight was one night just her and I (you know who you are : ) went out to Earls, sat in the "lounge" had some drinks and appy's then we stumbled home. I swore it was like 11 pm and I was so ready for bed. I got home and looked at the clock 7:30 pm people! 7:30 pm it was shocking I mean I know we had been drinking since 4:30 and I had apparently reached my limit but I swore it had to be really late, like 11 pm and I felt realy proud of myself when I left the "lounge" thinking oh yeah I can still handle a long night of drinking and socializing...not. I was so sure I had been out all night but I am sure the alcohol I had consumed coupled with the early and very dark Canadian winter nights helped fuel my desire for it too be much later. Also my ego could have used a few extra hours as well. As I really felt like I was returning to my pre-30's where I actually did something exciting and fun after 7 pm!
I don't really know how to change this pattern...sadly I don't know if I even want it to change. I mean I would like to go out and listen to some live music and hit the pub every once in a while but I don't really have a partner in crime. I am hoping that will all change when I head to New Orleans with my friends over the Christmas holidays...sorry ladies but if you are reading this we will be enjoying music, beverages and food a plenty during our week in the south! I need to trip back down memory lane and I need to be reminded that there is more to night life than fuzzy pj's and re-runs! HAHA until then I will most likely continue my weekend evenings in the same old pattern....which honestly for now is totally fine.
Food For Thought
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more.
If your are like me and you have forgotten what sex is. I am sending out positive sex wave thoughts to everyone going through a dry period you know a time in your life when sex is everywhere on tv, the movies, heck it seems like everything and everyone is enjoying it but you...well you are not alone my friend. I myself am going through what I like to call a Sahara period you know like the desert...dry dry dry and exceptionally hot! But nothing going on.
My new years resolution for 2009 was to actually have sex, plenty of it in fact and it was actually going to be with a real person not just in my imagination. Well 2009 is quickly drawing to a close and I am no where near fulfilling my resolution so this is the year when I definitely decide to not make new years resolutions any more....
I don't know whats worse a) not getting any or b) not getting any and having friends who get WAY too much that they have to nap in the afternoons just to make it through the night. I think it might be b but the jury is still out on that one. However, I know that I am not alone. I know that there are singletons all over that feel the same way, that are also experiencing a sex desert as well. If you are reading this because you think I have an answer you will be sadly disappointed because I don't. I just thought I would let you know you are not alone.
That's the one major misconception about Singletown that Coupledom doesn't realize it's a total myth that Singletown is full of happy people having sex with everyone all the time. Wrong....People in Coupledom just don't realize that many people in Singletown aren't out there romping or shagging everyone in fact my own survey shows the complete opposite. Lots of Singletowners would be happy to have A sex partner. One of my friends had sex last year for a whole week - it was amazing and I was happy for her. In fact I was hoping her luck would rub off on me... no such luck but we are still living vicariously through her memory anyways....
So here is to all you Singletowners out there praying and waiting for someone to come along and give you hopefully hours (but we'll take mins) of extremely satisfying and orgasmic sex.
Food For Thought "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey do you ever feel like everyone is having babies but you? I am being to think its in the water (should I be worried?). The last place I worked over the last two years has seen the production of something like 10+ babies! Yikes! I guess that's what happens when thirty-somethings finally get full-time jobs with maternity and paternity benefits...they have a baby and cash in their family benefits.
Sometimes I feel like I am one of the few people who isn't and perhaps does not want one...a baby that is because I am all for the job with benefits. I find it all a bit funny because even some people I swear a few years ago were like "oh no we aren't having kids, have had one." It's fine and I am happy for them but I find myself trying to come up with excuses to not have to attend a plethora of baby showers. Something men are lucky to not have to attend. Count your lucky stars men because they can be scary.
I recently with a friend attended a baby shower and having known the "new mum" since I was 5 but having never met any her friends after having reconnected recently myself and a mutual friend were slightly unsure what to expect at her baby shower. Were they going to be scary diapers filled with melted chocolate bars simulating baby poo? Were we going to have to guess what it was or even worse eat it? Was there going to be a huge swan made out of diapers? If the truth be told we were a little worried....
However, we didn't need to be. When we arrived the hostess greeted us with full arm tatoos on both arms and we both breathed a sigh a relief. It was a good baby shower we basically ate really good food, didn't have to hold the baby and laughed lots. It was fun and if all baby showers were like that one maybe I wouldn't mind them or babiess. Kidding but not really. I even at my approaching 36+ years do not feel the biological clock ticking or any sort of hankering for babies....I am definately ok with that but its just adds to the social pressures. I remember when one of my friends had her first baby her husband immediately asked me like day two of the baby's life when I was going to have one. I thought he was kidding turns out he wasn't. My reply was "I think you a) need to have sex first and b) a steady income also helps." Whatever I am sure if it is meant to be sometime before I hit the guiness book of world records for oldest mum ever I will have a kid. But I hope to have plenty of practise with copious amounts of organims and birth control first!
Food For Thought
"Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it." ~Jean Kerr
I am happy to report that my friends and I have successfully booked our trip to New Orleans over Chirst-mass! And we were able to find a hotel where we each have a bed and we don't have to share. However, we are only worthy of double beds. I guess in order to get a Queen you have to be one? I am not sure.
I am getting really excited to spend this years holiday season with friends in a new and exciting place. I have spent 2 other Christ-masses away from the family but this is one that I am actually really excited about.
The first Christ-mass I spent away from my family I was in Australia...we had curry and spent the day in the Sydney Royal Botanical Gardens....sleeping. Because our hostel had been taken over by the many many rowdy Brits (no offense) who had cooked this huge turkey feast and took over the entire hostel and who had kindly (not) invited anyone who was not associated with the Union Jack to help them eat it. Plus our roommates had absconded and drank all the bottles of champagne the hostel had nicely provided to their guests as a nice Xmas treat.
The second Christ-mass I spent in my one bedroom basement suite in Saskatoon because 1) I didn't really want to go home and 2) it would have cost me an entire months rent to fly home to BC. So a good friend came from Calgary to spend it with me. She endured the Greyhound bus trip for many hours so we could avoid BC and our families and spend Xmas the way we wanted to. I cooked a turkey and invited another friend of mine, who was in town for the holidays. And later we sat in my landlord's hot tub drunk on homemade spiced wine, my Swedish friend brought, watching the snow fall. It was great!
This year though, I am really looking forward to spending my holidays on an actual holiday. In a nice hotel with complimentary bathrobes, good food and a rooftop pool hopefully with a bar. We will be dining on some good chow not super cheap curry at Kings Cross surrounded by porn bars and shops. And will we be enjoying the spirits of holiday cheer with spirits!
Yes I am truly looking forward to this trip. Look out New Orleans here comes Singletown X's 3!
Food For Thought
"There is no moment of delight in any pilgrimage like the beginning of it"
OK I know I tend to rant on about the single versus couple thing but really some days it just pisses me off....so bear with me. My latest adventure - traveling. Myself and two friends are trying to book a trip to New Orleans over the "holiday season" to 1) avoid another pathetic holiday season spent with married siblings, parents and 2) avoid those pitiful looks from people at social gatherings commenting about how sad it is that you aren't spending the holidays with a loved one blab blab. Whatever! At least I will be spending it with people I like and not drinking myself into oblivion to avoid those "cheerful" family forced dinners.
We are three single professional gals who are independent and after spending almost every Christ-mass that's right I said Christ-mass you now the mass celebration where you spend most of the time thinking at least to yourself Christ how did I survive this last year? Well the three of us have decided to venture out and actually spend it how we want to...enjoying copious amounts of food and liquor as per usual however, this year it will be with people we choose and whom we like and in a fun and exciting place, where I don't have to dress in my thermal underwear just to get to the car.
So in my research to find us a decent place to stay in New Orleans I have come across a rather disturbing yet not too shocking discovery. The plight of the singleton or singletons to find a decent hotel that doesn't cost me an ovary or first born child.
I don't know what goes down there in Louisiana but it is really hard to find a decent hotel room for two or more people (friends) who do not wish to engage in close quarter sleeping arrangements in other words sex. In Canada it seems rather easy to get a hotel room with 2 Queen beds, however in my search I have come across a plethora of rooms with either the choice of A meaning 1 King and/or 1 Queen bed, romantic and family vacation packages and even a "rock star" room. What I have had a hard time finding is a room for us singles that isn't outrageously priced or forcing me to share a bed with a friend. Something I find rather ironic in a country and state that doesn't recognize same sex marriages or unions!
What I find incredibly frustrating is that my friends and I whom had decided on the reality of 2 adjoining rooms because of space and bathroom reasons are getting shafted. And not in a good way. It is almost impossible to find a decent room with 2 beds or a suite for 3 adults and guess what for that extra bed(s) not person(s) but the bed the rate is a lot more. Like hundreds more! Depending on your length of stay! Which I think is incredibly insane I mean its like you pay more for being single and/or not wanting to sleep literally or figuratively with your friend(s).
It's just another example of how couples get things for cheaper because they do. I mean I think it's nuts that myself and my friends have to pay more money to occupy the same space as a "couple".
That being said one of my friends seems to have found us a nice option a hotel with a suite that will probably work for us... though one of us will most likely be sleeping on a sofa bed because another extra bed adds like $100 a night! Whatever. We can handle it! But I would be a lot happier if society would change its attitudes about singles. I am getting really tired of living in Coupledom. Sometimes Singletown feels like a bad suburb where we pay extra taxes and get jack for it all while watching Coupledom recieved nice new curbing and safer lights at our expense. Oh well.....maybe one day people will say "Oh your not single" That's really sad"
Food For Thought
"Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility."~Michael Douglas
Months ago I got an email from a good friend from 1st year saying she had found people on the internet from our dorm years whom we had lost contact with. Ok these were people we didn't want to keep in touch with but we're curious about. She felt a bit weird about delving into these peoples lives only to garnish gossip and then pass it on to the rest of us. I replied that I often "internet stalked" people as I refer to it.
Ok it's not stalking but you know what I mean. I think we can all admit to "finding" people from our past whom we are curious about...haven't we? I know I have. Let's face it with social networking like Facebook and My Space its easier and easier to find people. I have spent hours looking for ex-boyfriends and people mainly frenemys to see if they are married with children etc, to see what they are doing with their lives. Dont' get me wrong I have also searched for friends too.
The question is WHY? Why do we do this. Personally for me it depends really on what is going on in my life. For instance if I had a recent bad breakup then I feel that somehow I missed out on some great opportunity with some guy I dated when I was 16! Really, I totally do this and I am sure I am not alone. Usually these guys are married with kids and it looks like they are very happily which doesn't make me feel better or does it. I don't know maybe it does. It certainly fills the void of not knowing.
I of coarse would be horrified to learn that some one had "internet stalked" me. But I am sure it has happened. I would be horrifed because I feel that my life isn't exactly what I had planned and if you have read some of my previous blogs you know I still haven't achieved adulthood. I don't want these "stalkers" to find out! But really in the grand scheme of my life it makes no difference. Chances are I won't ever see them again.
I think we search out these people from our past because its human nature to be curious about them. You know that 1st year roommate you hated because they went home every weekend to see their 17 year old boyfriend whom they spent hours tying up the phone talking to! What are they doing now? Did they marry that guy and have 10 kids? Or what about the crazy person two doors down or next door? What happened to them? With the beauty of the internet you can find out! And then go back to your life saner....at least for a while anyways, than you were before.
Food for Thought
"The value of a social network is defined not only by who's on it, but by who's excluded" ~ Paul Saffo
I never even asked this questioned that men and women can’t be friends or had it asked of me until a few years ago. Actually it was more of a statement “men and women can’t be friends” than a question at that time. It was followed by “there is always an ulterior motive”. I call Bullshite. I think and know men and women can be and are friends.
It is a total misconception that our genders can’t be friends without some ulterior motive or reason like uh I don’t know, sex. Men and women can be friends without wanting to jump each other person’s bones. I can only speak for myself and a few of my friends but honestly friendship is the number one reason behind these relationships not sex or the hope of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
I think people who don’t think men and women can be friends miss out on some pretty amazing friendships. I mean when did friendships between the genders get so complicated? When we were kids I don’t ever remember choosing only girls as friends. We didn’t because we were still innocent and accepting of all people despite our differences such as gender, color or race. Too bad we still don’t see the world and the people in it the same way. Somewhere on the road to adulthood some of us lost the ability to see each other as just people and friends.
I am not arguing that Men and women aren’t different. We are. We see the world and experience things from completely different points of view and places physically, mentally and emotionally. However, this should be the reason why we ARE friends, not why we are NOT. We should embrace friends of the opposite sex to be just that, friends; to dispel stereotypes, to have friends who think differently and who challenge your own ideas. I believe it is to both sex’s benefit to embrace these differences. I think it’s good to know that you can be a good friend, able to celebrate successes such as job promotions and relationships and be there when they need you such as breakups or deaths of loved ones despite their sex. We are influenced by the people in our lives and we should celebrate them despite gender differences.
I know people think girls and guys can’t be friends because of ulterior motives and romantic feelings. I know that romantic feelings do and can occur between friends of opposite genders, but in my experience true friends look beyond your gender, they value you and your friendship over your boobs even if this sometimes takes a while to happen. I am not saying people aren’t attracted at times to their friends of the opposite sex; we wouldn’t be human if we weren’t at some point. We are friends with people because we like and respect them, because they are good people, they make us laugh and we enjoy their company. I believe that we are attracted to the same qualities in our friends as we are in our “mate”. But that doesn’t mean we view every friend as a potential mate.
I have always had guy friends. In fact one of my oldest and best friends is a guy. He has provided me through the years with practical and insightful advice not to mention abundant laughter with his story telling. He lets me ask him stupid questions, mainly about men. In fact he was my life line during high school and university many times over. Why? He understands guys, unlike my girlfriends, because he is one. Plus I like him, he is a good person who makes me laugh and whom I like spending time with. He is honest and will tell me if he thinks the guys in my life are jackasses or nice or if I am being a jackass. Though I have to admit I don’t always listen but he is and always has been there for me. I feel my life is and has been enriched by 20 year our friendship. I hope he feels the same way. If not it’s too late because I know where he lives, where his parents live, his email address and his phone number! True friendship is just that friendship, and we choose our friends for who they are not what gender they are.
Food For Thought
"What is a friend? I will tell you...it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself." ~ Frank Crane
Right on the heels of my Friendships blog comes the news that one of my “friends” got married...in June. I mean I am not mad or upset but I guess I definitely have viewed our friendship over the years differently than him.When you have been “friends” for 9 years don’t you think you are worthy of being informed of life changing news in their life like I don’t know MARRIAGE let’s say. Wouldn't you let your "friend" know that you were getting married? Don't I count? I guess not...So this brings me to the question: When do friends decide that you aren't really a friend? Or are there various definitions of friends....to many people.
I am beginning to wonder as one of my friends did “Can you divorce your friends?” And if so how is this accomplished. Is there some kind of friend therapy out there? Can I search the internet and find a legal separation document for friend divorce? The answer appears to be no – I checked.
It’s not that I personally want to divorce my friends, ok maybe a couple.Over the years some friends haven’t exactly embraced the term friend or at least my definition.Do I need to have a caveat before we are officially friends? Do we have some kind of fried-commitment ceremony?I always thought that most people understood what it meant to be your friend, but over the years that I have discovered there is more to being friends than sharing crayons.
Some people are under the delusions that being a friend is a one way street...for them.You know the people I am talking about.These are “friends” when acquiring either a boyfriend/girlfriend/or mate simply vanishes from your life until....something drastic happens and by drastic I mean to them, not in general terms.For example I think we have all had friends who only call when their significant others are out of town or have broken up with them and then you are their lifeline though you haven’t heard from them in eons.
Then there are the stealers...I think we have all had one of these.They are the friend that once you have admitted that you have feelings for someone goes for your jugular.They all of a sudden are also interested in that very same person.Maybe they aren’t even interested in they just don’t want you to be with that person. Whatever the reason they seem to make it their mission to seek and steal...and usually they are successful.I know people who have had so-called-friends sleep, and by sleep I really mean have sex with, with the person their friend was in-like or even in-love with and then act like it’s no big deal. Really what are these people smoking?
Of course these people aren’t really true friends and usually at some point you come to your senses and give them the boot, a bitch-slap or kick in the ass whichever comes first.
But what about those people who you actually consider your friend and you thought/think you are theirs?What do they consider a “friend?” Why can’t you oust them from your life when they seem to have no problem ousting you from theirs or at least leaving you out in the cold. It sucks to think you are friends with someone only to discover you really are not.Like hearing months later they got married or had a baby or something equally earth shattering in their lives has occurred.
I did find a website pertaining to divorcing friends; it provided me with 15 basic how-to-steps. The end result is that I will be “liberated”. Hmm... part of me thinks this is total BS. Sorry but seriously I don’t think it’s that easy. And for me personally to feel liberated I need more than just advise to “let them go”...
Maybe I need a burning ceremony or maybe it really is that easy and I just need to let them go.Really will my life be less enriched if they drift away?Probably not...it just makes me a little sad to think they didn’t value my presence in their life as much as I valued theirs in mine.
Food for Thought
"False friends are worse than open enemies" - proverb
I am a child of the eighties, a Gen Xer, without the hummer, or six figure income. I love music, traveling, reading, movies, good food, wine & friends in no particular order. I am a huge Star Wars & Lord of the Rings fan. I openly admit to my lack of technological skills...so bare with me. I am a geek. I care and support arts, culture, animals and the planet. I believe that not all humanity is lost though we are teetering. And finally I can be a bit opinionated, biased and judgy - so consider yourself warned.
