Sex? What is that?

If your are like me and you have forgotten what sex is.  I am sending out positive sex wave thoughts to everyone going through a dry period you know a time in your life when sex is everywhere on tv, the movies, heck it seems like everything and everyone is enjoying it but you...well you are not alone my friend.  I myself am going through what I like to call a Sahara period you know like the desert...dry dry dry and exceptionally hot!  But nothing going on.  

My new years resolution for 2009 was to actually have sex, plenty of it in fact and  it was actually going to be with a real person not just in my imagination.  Well 2009 is quickly drawing to a close and I am no where near fulfilling my resolution so this is the year when I definitely decide to not make new years resolutions any more.... 

I don't know whats worse a) not getting any or b) not getting any and  having friends who get WAY  too much that they have to nap in the afternoons just to make it through the night. I think it might be b but the jury is still out on that one.  However, I know that I am not alone.  I know that there are singletons all over that feel the same way, that are also experiencing a sex desert as well. If you are reading this because you think I have an answer you will be sadly disappointed because I don't. I just thought I would let you know you are not alone.

That's the one major misconception about Singletown that Coupledom doesn't realize it's a total myth that Singletown is full of happy people having sex with everyone all the time.  Wrong....People in Coupledom just don't realize that many people in Singletown aren't out there romping or shagging everyone  in fact my own survey shows the complete opposite.  Lots of Singletowners would be happy to have A sex partner.  One of my friends had sex last year for a whole week - it was amazing and I was happy for her.  In fact I was hoping her luck would rub off on me... no such luck but we are still living vicariously through her memory anyways.... 


So here is to all you Singletowners out there praying and waiting for someone to come along and give you hopefully hours (but we'll take mins) of extremely satisfying and orgasmic sex.


Food For Thought
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all."
Rodney Dangerfield

Men & Women Can Be & Are Friends

I never even asked this questioned that men and women can’t be friends or had it asked of me until a few years ago. Actually it was more of a statement “men and women can’t be friends” than a question at that time. It was followed by “there is always an ulterior motive”. I call Bullshite. I think and know men and women can be and are friends.

It is a total misconception that our genders can’t be friends without some ulterior motive or reason like uh I don’t know, sex. Men and women can be friends without wanting to jump each other person’s bones. I can only speak for myself and a few of my friends but honestly friendship is the number one reason behind these relationships not sex or the hope of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

I think people who don’t think men and women can be friends miss out on some pretty amazing friendships. I mean when did friendships between the genders get so complicated? When we were kids I don’t ever remember choosing only girls as friends. We didn’t because we were still innocent and accepting of all people despite our differences such as gender, color or race. Too bad we still don’t see the world and the people in it the same way. Somewhere on the road to adulthood some of us lost the ability to see each other as just people and friends.

I am not arguing that Men and women aren’t different. We are. We see the world and experience things from completely different points of view and places physically, mentally and emotionally. However, this should be the reason why we ARE friends, not why we are NOT. We should embrace friends of the opposite sex to be just that, friends; to dispel stereotypes, to have friends who think differently and who challenge your own ideas. I believe it is to both sex’s benefit to embrace these differences. I think it’s good to know that you can be a good friend, able to celebrate successes such as job promotions and relationships and be there when they need you such as breakups or deaths of loved ones despite their sex. We are influenced by the people in our lives and we should celebrate them despite gender differences.

I know people think girls and guys can’t be friends because of ulterior motives and romantic feelings. I know that romantic feelings do and can occur between friends of opposite genders, but in my experience true friends look beyond your gender, they value you and your friendship over your boobs even if this sometimes takes a while to happen. I am not saying people aren’t attracted at times to their friends of the opposite sex; we wouldn’t be human if we weren’t at some point. We are friends with people because we like and respect them, because they are good people, they make us laugh and we enjoy their company. I believe that we are attracted to the same qualities in our friends as we are in our “mate”. But that doesn’t mean we view every friend as a potential mate.

I have always had guy friends. In fact one of my oldest and best friends is a guy. He has provided me through the years with practical and insightful advice not to mention abundant laughter with his story telling. He lets me ask him stupid questions, mainly about men. In fact he was my life line during high school and university many times over. Why? He understands guys, unlike my girlfriends, because he is one. Plus I like him, he is a good person who makes me laugh and whom I like spending time with. He is honest and will tell me if he thinks the guys in my life are jackasses or nice or if I am being a jackass. Though I have to admit I don’t always listen but he is and always has been there for me. I feel my life is and has been enriched by 20 year our friendship. I hope he feels the same way. If not it’s too late because I know where he lives, where his parents live, his email address and his phone number! True friendship is just that friendship, and we choose our friends for who they are not what gender they are.

Food For Thought

"What is a friend? I will tell you...it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself." ~ Frank Crane

Pets are great because?

I know many people do not see the virtue of pets theirs or other peoples. Well let me tell you as a pseudo pet owner they are indispensable. I live with 4 dogs that are not mine yet they have included me in their pack no questions asked. I sometimes begrudge them when I have to carry poo bags for well poo, and when they don’t listen to me...which can be frustrating depending on my mood. However, they do provide one very important thing...unconditional love.

Pets and in my case the dogs are always there for me. I have to admit that I am biased towards dogs most likely because I have never had or lived with a cat. My “pack” provides endless entertainment and they faithfully follow me everywhere. By everywhere I mean I usually am stuck at my computer desk because I have a large furry creature sleeping immediately behind my chair. I have never had a fan club before, it’s pretty nice and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Whenever I have a bad day there they are there looking cute, cuddly and ready to spend time with me no matter how grouchy I am. All I have to do is provide some pats, water and sometimes I feed and walk them.

When I see them enjoying a nap on my bed and using my pillow like it’s their own it makes me smile. Because well, they get to enjoy the simple things in life and they remind me that there is more to life than email, a job and daily stresses. I know there are people who do not love or even like pets such as dogs and cats but really I think you are missing out.

I know that dogs/pets come with a lot of responsibilities you have to feed them, take care of their health which can be expensive and they do like exercise and currently my truck has a layer of sand and dirt that just doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

But there are also cute nose prints on my windows and they are so excited just to go anywhere with me, even if it’s just to get gas. Ok so they may chew and pee on things like shoes and picnic baskets, but no matter what, they are always there for you. I know many people who relied on their pets when getting over a death, breakup or divorce. They sense when you are happy or sad and provide love without ever saying a word.

Pets, especially dogs, just enjoy spending time with you and no matter how long you are gone for, 15 minutes to several days, they greet you the same upon your return. They are just so happy to see you. Pets never judge what you are doing in or with your life, bad fashion decisions or any decisions you make. They love you unconditionally. Who or what else does that? Quite frankly I can’t wait until I can have my own, dog that is. I think my pack will consist of two, me and my furry friend. For now I am enjoying spending time with my 4 furry companions, my pseudo pets.

Food For Thought

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." ~ Roger Caras

Can you divorce your friends?

Right on the heels of my Friendships blog comes the news that one of my “friends” got married...in June. I mean I am not mad or upset but I guess I definitely have viewed our friendship over the years differently than him. When you have been “friends” for 9 years don’t you think you are worthy of being informed of life changing news in their life like I don’t know MARRIAGE let’s say. Wouldn't you let your "friend" know that you were getting married? Don't I count? I guess not...So this brings me to the question: When do friends decide that you aren't really a friend? Or are there various definitions of friends....to many people.

I am beginning to wonder as one of my friends did “Can you divorce your friends?” And if so how is this accomplished. Is there some kind of friend therapy out there? Can I search the internet and find a legal separation document for friend divorce? The answer appears to be no – I checked.

It’s not that I personally want to divorce my friends, ok maybe a couple. Over the years some friends haven’t exactly embraced the term friend or at least my definition. Do I need to have a caveat before we are officially friends? Do we have some kind of fried-commitment ceremony? I always thought that most people understood what it meant to be your friend, but over the years that I have discovered there is more to being friends than sharing crayons.

Some people are under the delusions that being a friend is a one way street...for them. You know the people I am talking about. These are “friends” when acquiring either a boyfriend/girlfriend/or mate simply vanishes from your life until....something drastic happens and by drastic I mean to them, not in general terms. For example I think we have all had friends who only call when their significant others are out of town or have broken up with them and then you are their lifeline though you haven’t heard from them in eons.

Then there are the stealers...I think we have all had one of these. They are the friend that once you have admitted that you have feelings for someone goes for your jugular. They all of a sudden are also interested in that very same person. Maybe they aren’t even interested in they just don’t want you to be with that person. Whatever the reason they seem to make it their mission to seek and steal...and usually they are successful. I know people who have had so-called-friends sleep, and by sleep I really mean have sex with, with the person their friend was in-like or even in-love with and then act like it’s no big deal. Really what are these people smoking?

Of course these people aren’t really true friends and usually at some point you come to your senses and give them the boot, a bitch-slap or kick in the ass whichever comes first.

But what about those people who you actually consider your friend and you thought/think you are theirs? What do they consider a “friend?” Why can’t you oust them from your life when they seem to have no problem ousting you from theirs or at least leaving you out in the cold. It sucks to think you are friends with someone only to discover you really are not. Like hearing months later they got married or had a baby or something equally earth shattering in their lives has occurred.

I did find a website pertaining to divorcing friends; it provided me with 15 basic how-to-steps. The end result is that I will be “liberated”. Hmm... part of me thinks this is total BS. Sorry but seriously I don’t think it’s that easy. And for me personally to feel liberated I need more than just advise to “let them go”...

Maybe I need a burning ceremony or maybe it really is that easy and I just need to let them go. Really will my life be less enriched if they drift away? Probably not...it just makes me a little sad to think they didn’t value my presence in their life as much as I valued theirs in mine.

Food for Thought

"False friends are worse than open enemies" - proverb