This time of year

Greetings.  I have been very lax about blogging lately I would like to say it is because I am gainfully employed and am raking in the dough however, that is not the case.  Though I have been working, taking government exams and going through the whole painful job search process.  I hope to have better luck in the New Year and as Christmas approaches

December pretty much becomes a write off to get anything done least of all getting a job offer. 

Focusing (or trying to) on this blog.  Yes it is that time of year when everyone talks of joy, cheer and love.  Oh wait no that's just the advertisers, most people I know associate this time of year with stress, crammed parking lots, angry people, lack of gift ideas, forced/obligated family time (followed by painful experiences and guilt for trying to avoid it) usually associated with  consuming copious alcoholic beverages and fattening food.  I usually like Christmas well the food at least and this year I am excited because I am heading to New Orleans with friends and am avoiding the whole madness of Christmas! Or at least part of it... no fears I have had my own share of Xmas madness and thought I would share...

A few days ago I was in a parking lot and upon returning to my vehicle, after waiting in a rather longer line than expected at the bank and almost being knocked down by an over zealous senior trying jumping the line from behind, found myself in an awkward situation.  By awkward I mean I was rather pissed but I am trying to add Christmas joy and cheer to my blog and life.  I know its not really my style so bear with me (the cheer and joy part).  Anyways I get back to my car and guess what? The person who parked next to me literally had left like maybe a foot for  me to 1) open my door (without scrapping the crap out of his truck) and 2) to get my body (meaning ass) in!  Seriously people have you looked at our population lately we are all not supermodels or have superpowers that allow us to squeeze into extremely tight spaces.  Even better the guy was still in his truck waiting for someone (I presume, it adds more drama to my story) plus it is absolutely pouring down with rain so I walk around my car because lets face it they only I am getting my ass in is through the passenger door.  

Oh what luck I forgot that I had a 20 pound bag of dog food in the front seat plus a very wet and mangled umbrella not to mention I had just spent X hundred plus dollars on my hair so I was trying to hurry and not ruin my hair.  SO I climbed in literally into my car over dog food, umbrellas and all the other random shite that I pile on my unused passenger seat (Cause that's what us singletowners do with all that extra space in our cars - we pile shite) I felt like a contortionist... in fact at one point I had my right leg up by the windshield because I couldn't quite squeeze into the drivers side with all the shite in the car.  I am sure I made a complete ass out of myself.  And yet the entire time buddy in his car just sat there watching me full of Christmas cheer! 

I mean really is this what our society has become at this time of year so focused on commercial aspirations and parking spots that we would let some person have to literally climb into their car at the risk of pulling some major muscle group because we couldn't possible spread some cheer and move ours a little so they could get into theirs?  I guess so.  Merry Christmas

Food for Thought

"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit"  ~ Kin Hubbard

Aging...

Why is it that men seem to age gracefully?  As they age they become sexy with peppered gray hair and they seem aluring and women well gravity sets in and wierd hair starts to grow on your chin?  I mean hypothetically of course (the hair)! Its like some sort of cruel joke not to mention that we experience our sexual peak in our late thirties just about the time that our over 30 bodies start to show us that we are definatley not 20 something anymore and 40 something is closer than we hope.  

I have recently had this conversation with some friends and we did a survey (ok it include about 3 people so the stats aren't exactly robust) and it seems like women in our 30s - 40s who haven't had kids are experiencing all kinds of weird hormonal things like chin hairs and extra lovely painful cramps.  It this because we are consuming mass quantities of caffeine intravenously through chocolate bars and coffee! Or is it becuase we don't actually age gracefully?

Do we only get to grow old gracefully if we have hair laser removal, incubate a parasite for nine months (no offense) and have some sort of bo-tox or other sythetic toxic substance injected into our face, boobs and/or asses? Not to mention the plethora of "anit-aging" face cream, ass cream, thigh cream and everything else creams that we are meant to be applying to our withering bodies. I mean really...is this what I have to look forward to as I grow old.  I hope not. 

Both my mum and her mother grew old graciously and not to be biased but they aged and are aging pretty dam well.  I can only hope that I have also inherited these genes.  Or else me and some hair laser pseudo doctor are going to become very fast and tight friends....

What I want to know is do men also experience things like this?  I mean we all know about sagging balls and man-boobs thanks to the Bro (Seinfeld) and other sources but is there more to it that we don't hear about?  I want to know and so do many other women out there. 

I am aware and so is the world about erectile dysfunction and incontinuity thanks to depends and pfizer.  I mean where would the world be without drugs for enabling the male libidio at the age of 70?  But do men really worry about getting older as much as women do?  Do you see your body start to fall apart and hope others don't notice as well?  I hope so not because I think men should share our pain of aging but because then we would know that we are all on the same playing field.

Food For Thought 

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart."  ~Caryn Leschen

Am I old or even worse outdated?

I never feel that I am an adult, though supposedly I am. I guess it’s because I associate being an “adult” as having a mortgage, a spouse and kids, things I also associate with my parents and being outdated. However, that being said I don’t feel old or outdated either...that is until I talk to younger people especially born in the eighties. A decade I thoroughly remember and at times wish I didn’t. That’s right folks I remember the excitement of cable TV, VCR’s, Much Music, MTV, and many wonderful and not so wonderful things, big hair and neon clothes to name a few, of the eighties.

I no longer get asked for identification at liquor stores, bars or restaurants. I remember thinking it was so great the first few times I didn’t get IDed. But the first time someone called me Madam at the grocery store I was shocked to discover they were actually talking to me. I think I aged on the spot. Really it was rather a harsh reality check. As I said I don’t feel old and outdated. I figured at a certain age we were all the same, you know once you pass the 20 threshold we are all comrades with similar memories and experiences. However, a conversation or I should say reminiscing with a friend about the first music video TV show and what a big deal it was....he replied uh I was born in 1984 and I have no idea what you are talking about. Obviously I was the only one doing the reminiscing! Yes I felt old and outdated. However, since then I have had many of those experiences and conversations and I know they will continue as I age. I don’t have to like it but I will have to get used to it...I guess.

A friend of mine recently had a co-worker born 1989. 1989 FOLKS! I mean they don’t even have a reference for the eighties, they missed it all! I don’t know about you but I remember 1989 very clearly. I remember things like acid wash jeans, Varnet shirts, Oakley sunglasses, Bon Jovi, Guns N’ Roses and Poison. Ahh the memories... I guess I just outdated myself, however, there is a ray of sunshine for us who feel outdated and even old.

Last year I went to the Bon Jovi concert in Vancouver. It was awesome by the way so was the George Michael Concert but that’s another story. I felt outdated buying tickets, some of my co-workers even sniggered, but I didn’t care and I went anyways. I left the concert feeling young, why you ask? Well because I was fighting 40 something women in line to buy merchandise. Basically I me felt young because I realized that while at Bon Jovi’s height and for years afterward I was a TEENAGER. Who knew that my youthful feelings would be returned by being shoved out of the way by large breasted women fully clad in acid wash jeans, jean jackets and Bon Jovi concert shirts from 1980 something. Might I add there were plenty of people dressed this way and not just women, men too. It was awesome, honestly I almost felt 15 again...almost no big hair and no acid wash this time around.

So when I feel outdated and old, when I have conversations with people who vaguely remember life before dvd players, cell phones, the meaning of those immortal words “Luke, I am your father”, Sixteen Candles, the Breakfast Club and many many other things from my youth. I remember the Bon Jovi Concert and I know that I am not so outdated. Nor do I feel that I have to become an adult completely. I know that in ten years time I can attend a concert wearing an outfit from my youth and not look out of place just like those 40-somethings did at Bon Jovi. I gives me hope people. I makes me realize that I am not outdated or even old, as I feared because there are others, people from generations before, who are even older and more outdated than me. And that makes me smile. I have another 40 plus years before I truly feel old and outdated. You know, when I am eighty-something instead of thirty-something.

Food For Thought

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis