Friendships

Friendship is mutually cooperative and supportive behaviour (Canadian spelling) between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis (Courtesy of Wikipedia).

I have to admit that I am a fan of Sex and the City. Why? Well because I think we all see part of ourselves and our friends in the characters. Maybe we all have a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha inside of us. Maybe our own friends are a mixture of these fictional characters. I think people enjoy the characters because while it doesn’t portray reality for many of us such as exciting club grand openings, fashion week and rich and famous life styles, the life experiences and explorations of the characters and friendships are relatable, they make us laugh, cry and think. Through it all the underlying message to me are the friendships. The characters always remain friends though they do not always agree with each other or life choices and many a time one of them had to ask and answer themselves tough questions when disagreeing with a friend’s life choice or opinion. I know that some of the episodes seemed way out but are they really?

We have all judged ourselves and our friends harshly... and realized we were wrong about both. I feel very fortunate to have friends in my life and not just a few but several both men and women. In the immortal words of John Lennon “I get by with a little help from my friends”. Yes cheesy as it may be I often wonder how many personal crises I would have survived without my friends. Some of these only reached crisis level because I made them...in my head. I think a lot of us take our friendships for granted not on purpose but just because that’s part of life.

I never really stopped to think about how many or how important my friends and friendships were until I spent my first summer in the arctic where we got mail once a month for three months. I got tons of mail including packages of good eats and my favourite things, packages with funny activities and most importantly news of their lives. I realized I missed hearing about my friends lives not them hearing about mine and that no matter where I was – like the middle of nowhere they were still there for me just like I was there for them.

Over the years I have learned that friends are the people you can call anytime, day or night happy or sad and they will be there for you, offering support, in many cases making you laugh and seeing the reality of your situation...whatever it may be. Friends make you feel warm and fuzzy. They let you spout off personal opinions especially the uncensored ones...and they still like you. I know shocking. I am often surprised that I have managed to maintain friends over the years despite my fierce opinions and inability to censor my thoughts and speech. I would like to think that I have given as much to my friends as my friends have given me. I consider them my family and though I am not always the best at calling, visiting, sending emails or letters but that when I do time seems to have stood still and our friendship is as strong as ever despite whatever has changed in our lives, marriage, kids, breakups, breakdowns, career advancement and unemployment.

Didn’t your mum tell you “you’re stuck with family, but you can choose your friends”. Parents, siblings and children love you no matter what just like you love them no matter how much they piss you off or frustrate you. Friends, well they don’t have to even care about you, but they do despite being different, having their own opinions, experiences and knowing your deepest darkest and most embarrassing secrets. Of course we know theirs too but I think friends ignore blackmail material... I hope mine do.

Do we chose our friends or do they choose us? I am not sure I just know that without friends life would be pretty dam boring and unfulfilling. I for one am incredibly grateful for my friends.... I mean who can give that look to when a man in a really bad toupee walks by? Your friend because they know what you are thinking without exchanging words...and they don’t care that you are laughing your ass off in public because they are too. I mean life is hard enough and trying it figure it out alone would be pretty unbearable don’t you think? I leave you with a quote it may be cheesy but I think it is applicable to life...mine at least. And a big thank you to all my friends some of which I hope read this post and know I value what they have brought to my life, sensibility, love and laughter!

Food for Thought

“The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail. But hope remains, if friends stay true.” J.R. Tolken Lord of the Rings