Do you remember as a kid you never thought your parents were people? Well they are. I remember sometime after leaving home I came to this conclusion. I know sad isn’t it. I guess I was so wrapped up in my own world to actually have given it much thought before. I think it was because I didn’t have to before then. I mean I lived at home and they took care of me didn’t they, for all those years.
When I left home to go to university suddenly I had to take care of myself and do everything or at least most things for myself. And I realized parents do a lot for their kids or at least mine did. I also realized that they had their own lives...finally. I was the last kid to leave home and suddenly my parents were flying off to Hawaii and enjoying their empty nest. Doing all kinds of things they didn’t before because well they had us to take care of.
I will admit that I had a hard time adjusting at first. When my parents moved from the house I had spent almost 17 years living in it was hard. All my childhood memories were in that house immortalized for me, it was our “family home”, the new house not so much. I mean it was nice and new and everything my parents wanted sans kids. I however, felt it was lacking you know space for us, the kids. However, I adjusted because really I didn’t want to return to live there full-time, so what did I care that there was only one TV and no room designated for us kids?
Years have passed, it’s actually scary to think how many since I left home. My parents are doing and have done tons of stuff without us kids, and I am happy for them because they should get to after raising us. I am glad that my parents get to do things they enjoy and perhaps didn’t get a chance to when we were at home because as kids we came first. My parent’s golf lots, travel and take courses from the local college. We in fact have a more adult relationship....sometimes. I think that even though I see them as individuals both of us, parents and kids alike, have a hard time completely dissolving the parent-child relationship. I think my dad will always see me somewhere between 12 and 18 and more on the adult side when he needs technical support for his computer. My mum well I know she sees me as an adult but she still acts like I don’t know what I am doing sometimes. I think it’s just how they see us and they can’t help it. I am trying to let it go but I am not always as generous with them as I am with others. Why? Well because they are my parents and its OK to be irritated at and by them isn’t it. It’s safer because they have to love you just as you do them. And because they will always be your parents and you will always be their kid, despite how much you piss each other off.
I see my parents as people, as individuals with different personalities, interests and needs. I have seen them as people for many years now. However, I will always see them as my parents irritating, supportive and all no matter how old I get. It’s inevitable...and I can live with that.
Food For Thought
If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. ~Bette Davis
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